CONTENTS
EPPING FOREST OUTDOOR GROUP
The Epping Forest Outdoor Group attends a variety of local events with its display tent. At one of these - the Epping Forest Festival on Wanstead Flats in 2005 - one visitor was seduced into joining and hasn't been able to leave since.....
(incidentally - you can see one of the sirens in the large photograph on the previous page. She has let her guard down and is threatening an innocent competitor with a milk bottle). The other can be seen by clicking here. She looks nice enough - doesn't she - ready to run in the London Marathon? It's a front - she'll entice you!
The Sirens of Epping Forest
It was the 2005 Forest Festival
And I went along to the EFOG stall;
To see what sort of things they done;
But walking and cycling seemed their idea of fun
At once accosted by a chap
Who told me about this and that.
I said “I know what that entails -
I’ve done all that walking, miles and miles.”
“But now I’m somewhat past all that.
Not age, nor am I none too fat -
Much as I’d like to join you all,
I’ve got creaking joints - and I tend to stall.”
I said “I think I’d better go!”
But two girls came up and they both said “No!”
They grabbed an arm each up my back;
Said “We might provide the things you lack.”
“Because we do lots of other things”,
“Well, that sounds interesting,” I grinned
“But you see, I’m not sociable, at all!”
But they said we don’t believe you, and we meet in a local hall.
“We meet there every Thursday night –
And we think that you might be just right.
We really think you ought to come along.”
Their talk was sweet - but their grip was strong.
So I found myself on that Thursday evening
Wondering if I’d lost my reasoning.
Wondering if I would be OK,
But the group encouraged me to stay.
That first quiz night was a clever ruse,
Because soon they had me paying dues.
Was I right in doubting what I’d done?
Because the harder stuff was yet to come!
For quite a few weeks what they had to say
Was about the Rodings Rally Day.
But what this was, they didn’t quite let on;
Sort of, letting newcomers just tag along.
Then, weekends tracking through the trees
Mostly followed by aching knees;
With a compass, a map and surveyor's measure -
This outdoor stuff is hardly leisure.
Checkpoint plotting is what they said
In trackless forest - they’re sick in the head
But an indoor evening thinking up clues
Was a bit of a laugh and banished some blues.
And then the big night, in mid November,
The Rodings Rally was a night to remember,
It started quite easy with a tasty meal,
But got harder and harder – and I paid for my fill.
Setting out tables and putting out tents,
Most sane people at other events,
Choose a sunny day in the middle of summer
This outdoor group just gets rummer and rummer.
The contestants are just as bad,
About three hundred people - and all of them mad.
In holly and bramble and freezing frost,
And all in the hope that they won’t get lost
And what about me, ‘cos I went along,
I was one of them - have I got it wrong?
Well, it’s too late now – I’ve been well and truly duped,
By the Sirens of the Epping Forest Outdoor Group.
January 2006 Paul Ferris
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